Script & script reading and discussion on Reform Radio

As part of work with SLEEC me and Meg try and find new ways to discuss the topics we want to share. We recently started writing short scripts around our own experiences of support services, to use as a tool to start conversations on radio, podcast and other audio sharing platforms.

This is one of our script readings and discussion on Reform Radio that we were invited on to as part of their International Women's Day Round Table Discussion.

Listen here (To just here the script and our conversation afterwards skip to 56 minutes in)

Read original script below

Initial referral script

There are two people in a small harshly lit, windowless room. There is a clock on the wall, a limp plant and two chairs facing each other. In between there is a table with a box of tissues on it. On the wall there is a childlike drawing of a crying rainbow. One person is sitting on each chair facing each other; Carol, the assessment support worker and Raia, who has come to seek help.

Support worker (Carol): (Speaking in a slow, quiet voice as if the client is so fragile any word could trigger them - throughout) Hi Rya, I’m Carol.

Raia (Speaking in a normal voice throughout): Oh.. it’s actually Raia,

Carol: Ok so Rya, how are you feeling (long pause) today?

Raia: Ok

Carol: Now I know you have come here to seek support around your rape*

“Rape’ said even quieter and more carefully than all the other words - almost a whisper

Raia: Yep

Carol: Is it ok if I ask you some questions?

Raia: Yea

Carol: Now I’ll need some details from you for this form, is that ok?

Raia: Yea

Carol: What’s your Address?

Raia: Flat 2b, 167 Hermitage Road London, N4 1LZ

Carol: And can I get your….phone number?

Raia: 07939894167

Carol: Thank you for that Rya…. you’re doing really really well.

Raia: It’s Raia

Carol: So are you aware of the commitments you need to commit to in order to access the support?

Raia: I’m not actually aware of what kind of support I’m actually being offered…

Carol: So with commitments, you will be required to commit to all the sessions and if you miss more than one consecutively you will be automatically removed from the service. This is all in the contract you will be required to sign.

Raia: How many sessions will there be and when? Sometimes my anxiety flares up and I can’t leave the house. What if I miss sessions because of this, will the support still be dropped?

Carol: Having routine and strict boundaries is part of a healthy healing process, Rya, …

And, there’s a lot of vulnerable service users waiting for this support… who do really need this, and who want to make that commitment.

Can

Raia: Is the support based here? Because another thing is I live quite far away in the centre… it’s two buses. Is there any funding support for travel, if I need to commit to the sessions every week?

Carol: Unfortunately that’s something you would have to fund yourself. Can I ask you a difficult question (whispers) are you having financial difficulties?

Raia: Actually yea, it’s a bit difficult with my job at the moment because…

Carol: So I want to move on now to get some more details at where you are at coming here today. I’m going to ask you some questions on this form and I will need you to answer on a scale of 1-10. And want you to feel able and safe to answer as honestly and openly as you feel. So Rya on a scale of 1 to 10, with one being really really really bad and ten being YAY, i’m ok, where would you put yourself on that scale?

Raia: Well today I actually feel alright so maybe an 8.

Carol: Right….so while you’re saying “8” Rya, i'm actually hearing 2 from you…

Raia: But I said 8….

Carol: Ok so let's meet in the middle somewhere…lets say 2 (under her breath) i’ll just make a note of that here….2

Raia: Ok, but….

Carol: So it’s normal at the beginning to be seeing lots of 1s and 2s, but we hope that towards the end of this support we will be seeing 8s and 9s or even a 10.

Now im going to ask you some more “intimate” questions, questions around sex (whispers the word) are you comfortable for me to carry on?

Raia: Do I have a….

Carol: So are you currently having or engaging with any form of sex?

Raia: Yeh, why?

Carol: Right Rya, so sometimes after trauma, having sex with men can be an unhealthy coping mechanism that victims use to cope with whats happened to them.

Raia: I don’t feel that it's unhealthy for me, it’s not a man by the way, it’s actually a woman, my partner..

Carol: And thats why you’ve come here for support today Rya, to explore your unhealthy coping mechanism around sex and find healthy, positive ways to change your patterns and behaviours. Can I ask you if you are having nightmares at the moment?

Raia: No I don’t

Carol: Are you sure about that? I want you to take a moment to really think about it

Raia: No i’m pretty sure i haven’t…(gets cut off)

Carol: And I want to talk about substances, and by substances I mean drink and drugs. (Pause) Do you drink alcohol or use any substances?

Raia: I don’t really drink much but I smoke weed

Carol: I’m going to be honest with you, hearing that from someone who has experienced trauma that does concern me…So I'm going to draw up a risk management plan and make a referral to your local drug and alcohol services, how does that sound?

Raia: Well I don't really feel I have an unhealthy relationship with weed so I would rather you didn’t….

(Carol scribbles notes on her form)

Carol: So we are going to talk a little bit more about what you can expect to feel in these coming months while on your journey to recovery. You will feel that you won’t want to engage with sex, you’ll likely want to wear baggy clothes, stay in bed for long periods because your sleep will be broken, maybe find little joy in life itself. This is normal after trauma.

And now speaking of trauma, it’s good for us to know your history including any traumatic experiences up until now. This is a safe space where everything will be held.

Voiceover “at this point Raia gives a full account of her experiences including lots of details of the recent assault as well as other historical ones..

Carol: Wow, that's a lot of stuff

Raia: There’s more that… (interrupted by Carol)

Carol: Unfortunately that’s all we have got time for now. I’ll put this all in your records. You will be put on the waiting list for support. It’s quite long so you could be waiting 8 months to sometimes over a year. If you haven’t heard anything in a year's time, do feel free to drop us a little email to check in.

Voiceover: Carol places the clipboard on her desk and the session ends.

In a year's time, after not hearing back from them, Raia emails the support service to ask about the progress of her receiving support. They say they have lost her details and that she will have to have another assessment to go through everything again to be able to then rejoin the waiting list. Raia does this and is eventually offered support 17 months after initially referring herself. Once she started the support she found it too patronising, unrelatable and not inclusive of her experiences so she left. She got a credit card and got into debt to afford private counselling.

—

Disclaimer:

This is based on real experiences within support services (this is not an isolated incident - We have heard hundreds of stories like this one). Some people have a great experience and that's amazing. But there are too many stories of mistreatment of survivors that are not being heard. People who experience these things often feel unable to speak out about it so these stories are not being heard.

We don’t think all charities or support services are bad. There are some great services with amazing people working within them and many are incredibly necessary. We have had some good experiences ourselves. It is just important to start highlighting things that go on behind closed doors. We need to see the damage that is being done and how and why these situations occur. We need to look at how these assumptions and projections onto survivors perpetuate rape culture and misrepresentation of survivors.